Steak and cheese

Lunch today was the most fantastic steak and cheese baguette ever.  We got this month’s organic meat box at about 1.30 this afternoon, dashed down to the shop for cheese, then got extravagant!  I was hoping for bacon, prepared to compromise on sausages, then set eyes on the best ever slabs of rump steak.  They were cut into thin strips, fried with a few mushrooms, then just thrown into fresh baguettes with some double Gloucester cheese.  MMMMMMM. 

To compensate for it, the dinner this evening will be something simple like a pasta bake.  With tuna.  Not meat. 

All I can think about at the moment is knitting/crochet.  I’m addicted, it’s becoming more and more difficult to focus on anything else.  This includes housework, work, other people, real life in general.  I’m starting to get a bit of an anxiety/depression issue, for the first time in more than 5 years.  I think it’s being caused by the hormone tablets, as anxiety and depression are both listed as possible side-effects.  Something else to talk to the Doctor about tomorrow.  It doesn’t sound so serious, because I just tend to react oddly to weird things.  Last night I freaked out (in my head, I almost never just react at the time) because A’s bench wasn’t pushed in under the table.  I couldn’t bear it.  I didn’t scream or shout at the time, I sulked for a while then got weird on him later.  He’s so understanding, just pointed out that this is probably a side-effect of the tablets, and to talk to the doctor.  In the meantime he is here for me.  Bless him, when I got up this morning he had not only tucked his bench under the table, he’d moved the table so it wouldn’t stick out so much anyway.  

I’m starting to worry though, whether the compulsive knitting is a good thing or a bad one.  It does make me feel better, less tense, until I realise that it’s nearly time to stop (dinner, bath, bed, interaction with other people) when I get uptight about putting it down.  I don’t want to give up…should I?  Or would I then just find something else to get hung up on? 

Typically, when I’m not well balanced I overthink everything.  It’s all such a BIG DEAL. 

Guess I’ll have to see what the doctor-man suggests. 

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